Adjusting.....

It's Saturday morning, a rather chilly one for spring and I'm lying in bed next to you while you having your first morning nap... I miss these moments my sweet baby boy.. I miss just walking up to you and hugging you whenever I feel like it during the day.. But this morning I'm savoring the moment, taking in every detail of you, and hearing you breathe so peacefully next to me, soothes my sometimes aching heart. I'm so thankful that even though these moments are now further apart, we still have them and today 'it's heaven....'

Sleeping with his bunny

I cannot believe that I've been back at work a month already.. It feels to me somedays as if everyday are speeding away faster and faster. It's crazy how time just run away from us.. It's been a really eventful five weeks and even though on the one hand time is going too fast I'm glad we are here, five weeks down the line and not in hospital like that first week. I'm slowly but surely finding my feet at work, some days it feels like I've never been away and other days I walk in there and it feels like it's been forever since I've been there.. Things are actually a lot better than I thought it would be, besides it being really busy right now.. I was dreading to go back but the move I made last year to the Foundation was probably the best thing that could've happened, I enjoy the people, love the projects we are involved with and it's just in general a better environment for me as a mommy. So I'm so grateful that this is the place I could go back to..

My big boy on his way to school...

Jaydon has adjusted in his new school wonderfully. My aching heart of those first few days is now much more content.. When Michael drops him in the morning he doesn't cry anymore and goes to the teacher with ease, he is playing and interacting with the other kids and best of all he's eating like a champ again at school and at home and he sleeps well too. All showing me that my boy is doing well. When I go pick him up in the afternoon he runs to me with a smile and I love that moment when he sees me and I can see how happy he is. The first week of September they had a fun week full of activities and kicked off with planting flowers.. Tuesday they had a face paint day and I got there to find my little 'spiderman'.. (still can't believe he actually sat still, but he obviously did..). Wednesday they had 'dress up' day. His class had to dress up in 'Cars' clothes and all of them looked really cute... Thursday they painted again and on Friday they had an 'indoor' picnic as a result of the bad weather.. I'm really glad we made the move to the new school for various reasons and one of the most important probable the fact that it's 2 minutes from home.. Saves so much time in the afternoon and it's so nice to have the extra time to play with the boys..

My flower from my big boy..

Spiderman!

'Seriously mom, put the camera away!'

Love the spiky hair!

Look at the plane, mom!

And then we got distracted by the sprinklers... Loads of fun though!

At a school friend's birthday party..

Ethan and dad also joined...

So sweet when napping..

The huge hailstorm we had last week...

Nadine and Riaan came to visit with the two boys and we had lots of fun.. Jaydon and Alexander differ 6 weeks and Ethan and Simeon differ 7 weeks... (Jaydon and Ethan the older two).. I can just imagine the four boys in 2-3 years... We will really have our hands full when we get together... :-) 

Ethan and Simeon

Nadine and Simeon

Hey friend!

Two monkeys..

Jaydon and Alexander

The little ones in the bath..

A and J

A and J putting up a performance....

I still try to take the boys for a walk as often as I can.. and Jaydon still loves it on his bike.. Going up and down every drive way and getting faster every day!

Ethan cannot wait to get on the bike as well! :-)

He just loves playing on the trailer outside...

Taking a Sunday afternoon nap with dad...

Sitting so nicely in the big feeding chair now! 

Jaydon had another hair cut last week... He can really put up a 'grumpy face' when he wants too... He was actually so well behaved... Sat still the whole time! :-)

Seriously.. why are we doing this?

Went to see aunt Jo's stand last Sunday.. Jaydon absolutely loved playing in the heaps of sand lying around.. The foundations are now set and starting the walls this week! Lots of excitement...

Look at me! 

Aunt Jo, Ethan and Jaydon

Had lunch at the purple cow again...

Jaydon on the jungle gym, but had to stop halfway to first take a bit of his fish finger...

Aunt Jo and Ethan

Ethan is now sitting like a big boy and not falling/slouching over any more.. Still amazes me how one day they keep falling over and the next day they just manages to stay put, and sit so nicely... This is now becoming more fun for Jaydon as well.. He almost goes and sit on top of Ethan when he tries to sit next to him and Ethan really 'sitting' his ground now.. I think it will become more and more fun for the boys to spend time together..

This photo of Michael and Ethan is the last one for this post, and I just love it.. Michael has such a wonderful bond with both boys.. They really adore him and I feel so grateful every time I see it.. This is one of my favourite photos..

For my boys, Always remember this -

'You're braver than you believe, and stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think..' ~ Christopher Robin, Winnie the pooh

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First three weeks..a roller coaster ride.!

So it's been three weeks since I started work again and a roller coaster ride might be something of an understatement for this one..

For me going back to work is marred by the endless emotional turmoil of being pulled by the thoughts of having to go back, and the idea of leaving my babies with someone else when I'd much rather be with them than anywhere else.. It's tears and more tears and eventually more tears before some sort of acceptance step in and the day finally arrives.. Not like I could've stopped it from happening but the process still repeated itself almost like it was for the first time.. In a way it did go somewhat smoother once I was at work compared to last time (thanks to my friend Jo who really made it a little better being back) and all the messages and thoughts from everyone else, but the day was once again too long and by 12, I was aching to go home.. Jaydon's new school is very good with this and they emailed me probably 3 times to say he's ok and even though still a bit unsure he was not crying.. He did cry every day dad dropped him off in the mornings but seems to have settled quite quickly every time.. And then as if Murphy was sitting outside our door this whole time (we really had an illness-free winter), Jaydon started getting sick on the Wednesday evening (just three days into me being back at work).. He already looked teary when I picked him up that afternoon and I thought it was the first week taking its toll.. But no eating later, lots of tears and unhappiness (and all the time I'm upset thinking it's cause he started school again) and eventually a lot of vomiting Michael drove to the ER around 1:00 Thursday morning.. (Quite a different ball game when there's two and one of us must stay at home..) They gave him meds for nausea, took his blood to rule out any funnies and they were eventually home by around 3:30... This lead to Jaydon not going to school the next day and between me and Michael staying at home half day each. By Thursday evening after not having anything to drink or eat the whole day they went back to the ER.. Jaydon got admitted, put in a drip for/prevent dehydration and just as well cause that night the diaree started.. And who would've thought after going this whole winter without any of us being sick we'd end up spending three nights in hospital the first week I went back to work..! Which made this hospital trip even more emotionally draining was cause I couldn't be there the whole time, as Ethan is still not taking a bottle I stayed with him to feed at night time (yes he still wakes 2-3 times to feed at night) and both Thursday and Friday I had to go in to the office for a bit.. So I was driving up and down between home, hospital and work.. And by Sunday I was really really tired.. Jo really helped so much by staying with Ethan at night and on the weekend when I went to the hospital and without her and my mom helping at hospital it would've been even worse..

On the hang-bridge on his own.. :)

My blue-eyed angel enjoying the outing to the park!

Before he got sick.. Shopping with mom..

Waking up the first morning, he slept on dad the whole night..

In hospital - playing with dad..

The last morning.. probably the first night of 'decent' sleep.. 

Time to go home.. He made 'friends' with a boy next door and they were 'playing' through the glass..

We did some shopping before Jaydon was discharged.. Ethan didn't really notice much of this trip..

The second week even though Jaydon was over the stomach bug he kept having fevers and to top it all Michael came home from the hospital also as sick.. He contracted some of the bug and a bad sinus infection and ended up at home Monday and Tuesday.. Due to Jaydon's fever he didn't go to school and my inlaws really assisted so much again by having Jaydon with them this week. In turn this meant us driving to Queenswood every day, twice a day, but at least Jaydon was closely watched and could get better completely.. He's left with a runny nose and Michael at least completely over his bug, I had the cold/flu in all it's glory and have been feeling rotten since Friday.. Thank goodness it was weekend and I could recover, but I'd much rather have spent it doing something really nice... But at least there'll be many more weekends!

The upside of this roller coaster ride was that Ethan has been completely healthy throughout, and I'm just saying thank you for that (praying for it to stay this way) and Sunday when we came home from the hospital, aunty Jo had been practicing with him a lot and he was rolling over like a pro front to back and back to front.. He was so completely chuffed with himself it was adorable to watch how he thought it was the best thing ever! (This post was written on the weekend, since then he did start getting fever and vomiting but it looks like an ear infection so I might just have his grommets put in real soon.....!)

LOOOOVING boudoir biscuits...

Just seeing how my little boy suddenly maneuvers himself on the floor made my heart ache somehow and also made me so immensely happy to see how he is growing up really becoming a little person now..

We hd a lovely sleep-in last week Saturday morning.. :)

And on another high - Jaydon is getting cuter every day.. He now has this way of saying goodbye to every-one or everything when he leaves a room and or is done playing with something.. When he wants to go bath he takes my hand and says 'bai-bai-bai' to his toys and the TV room and we to upstairs.. (It's the cutest bye bye I've ever seen.. His little hand held up and his fingers opening and closing and him saying 'bai-bai-bai... - My heart melts every time he does it...:-)) Those first few night after starting school he would even say 'bai-bai-bai' to his story book half way through dad reading to him cause he just wanted to go sleep... It's really cute to see the associations he's making and how he interacts with us.. I really just love seeing it and once again seeing him grow up. The other thing he was doing was clapping for himself when he gets something right.. Now this is really cute and I would make him do something just so we can clap and see him clapping for himself as well.. It's just so adorable when he knows he did something right and gives this big smile and then claps for himself... It's these small moments that pass too quickly but which also fills our 'memory banks' to the brim and I'm loving them.

Discovered he can wet us with his squeezie toys..!

In ouma Hilde's garden.. Yeah for summer!

There's an ant mom!

So here we are two weeks down the line, we survived the emotions, the illnesses and the tears with smiles.. We're going to make it - again, and we're going to be just fine.


'I am torn between mourning the baby you were yesterday and rejoicing in the amazing little person I see before me...' I read this under a photo of another mom on Instagram the other day.. A truth for me about both boys.. marvelling in their milestones and how quickly the grow up and yet, I'm also sad over how quickly this times seem to pass.. but we are loving every moment and savouring all the memories..

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