Friday, August 31, 2012

First three weeks..a roller coaster ride.!

So it's been three weeks since I started work again and a roller coaster ride might be something of an understatement for this one..

For me going back to work is marred by the endless emotional turmoil of being pulled by the thoughts of having to go back, and the idea of leaving my babies with someone else when I'd much rather be with them than anywhere else.. It's tears and more tears and eventually more tears before some sort of acceptance step in and the day finally arrives.. Not like I could've stopped it from happening but the process still repeated itself almost like it was for the first time.. In a way it did go somewhat smoother once I was at work compared to last time (thanks to my friend Jo who really made it a little better being back) and all the messages and thoughts from everyone else, but the day was once again too long and by 12, I was aching to go home.. Jaydon's new school is very good with this and they emailed me probably 3 times to say he's ok and even though still a bit unsure he was not crying.. He did cry every day dad dropped him off in the mornings but seems to have settled quite quickly every time.. And then as if Murphy was sitting outside our door this whole time (we really had an illness-free winter), Jaydon started getting sick on the Wednesday evening (just three days into me being back at work).. He already looked teary when I picked him up that afternoon and I thought it was the first week taking its toll.. But no eating later, lots of tears and unhappiness (and all the time I'm upset thinking it's cause he started school again) and eventually a lot of vomiting Michael drove to the ER around 1:00 Thursday morning.. (Quite a different ball game when there's two and one of us must stay at home..) They gave him meds for nausea, took his blood to rule out any funnies and they were eventually home by around 3:30... This lead to Jaydon not going to school the next day and between me and Michael staying at home half day each. By Thursday evening after not having anything to drink or eat the whole day they went back to the ER.. Jaydon got admitted, put in a drip for/prevent dehydration and just as well cause that night the diaree started.. And who would've thought after going this whole winter without any of us being sick we'd end up spending three nights in hospital the first week I went back to work..! Which made this hospital trip even more emotionally draining was cause I couldn't be there the whole time, as Ethan is still not taking a bottle I stayed with him to feed at night time (yes he still wakes 2-3 times to feed at night) and both Thursday and Friday I had to go in to the office for a bit.. So I was driving up and down between home, hospital and work.. And by Sunday I was really really tired.. Jo really helped so much by staying with Ethan at night and on the weekend when I went to the hospital and without her and my mom helping at hospital it would've been even worse..

On the hang-bridge on his own.. :)
My blue-eyed angel enjoying the outing to the park!
Before he got sick.. Shopping with mom..
Waking up the first morning, he slept on dad the whole night..
In hospital - playing with dad..
The last morning.. probably the first night of 'decent' sleep.. 
Time to go home.. He made 'friends' with a boy next door and they were 'playing' through the glass..
We did some shopping before Jaydon was discharged.. Ethan didn't really notice much of this trip..

The second week even though Jaydon was over the stomach bug he kept having fevers and to top it all Michael came home from the hospital also as sick.. He contracted some of the bug and a bad sinus infection and ended up at home Monday and Tuesday.. Due to Jaydon's fever he didn't go to school and my inlaws really assisted so much again by having Jaydon with them this week. In turn this meant us driving to Queenswood every day, twice a day, but at least Jaydon was closely watched and could get better completely.. He's left with a runny nose and Michael at least completely over his bug, I had the cold/flu in all it's glory and have been feeling rotten since Friday.. Thank goodness it was weekend and I could recover, but I'd much rather have spent it doing something really nice... But at least there'll be many more weekends!

The upside of this roller coaster ride was that Ethan has been completely healthy throughout, and I'm just saying thank you for that (praying for it to stay this way) and Sunday when we came home from the hospital, aunty Jo had been practicing with him a lot and he was rolling over like a pro front to back and back to front.. He was so completely chuffed with himself it was adorable to watch how he thought it was the best thing ever! (This post was written on the weekend, since then he did start getting fever and vomiting but it looks like an ear infection so I might just have his grommets put in real soon.....!)

LOOOOVING boudoir biscuits...

Just seeing how my little boy suddenly maneuvers himself on the floor made my heart ache somehow and also made me so immensely happy to see how he is growing up really becoming a little person now..

We hd a lovely sleep-in last week Saturday morning.. :)
And on another high - Jaydon is getting cuter every day.. He now has this way of saying goodbye to every-one or everything when he leaves a room and or is done playing with something.. When he wants to go bath he takes my hand and says 'bai-bai-bai' to his toys and the TV room and we to upstairs.. (It's the cutest bye bye I've ever seen.. His little hand held up and his fingers opening and closing and him saying 'bai-bai-bai... - My heart melts every time he does it...:-)) Those first few night after starting school he would even say 'bai-bai-bai' to his story book half way through dad reading to him cause he just wanted to go sleep... It's really cute to see the associations he's making and how he interacts with us.. I really just love seeing it and once again seeing him grow up. The other thing he was doing was clapping for himself when he gets something right.. Now this is really cute and I would make him do something just so we can clap and see him clapping for himself as well.. It's just so adorable when he knows he did something right and gives this big smile and then claps for himself... It's these small moments that pass too quickly but which also fills our 'memory banks' to the brim and I'm loving them.

Discovered he can wet us with his squeezie toys..!
In ouma Hilde's garden.. Yeah for summer!
There's an ant mom!

So here we are two weeks down the line, we survived the emotions, the illnesses and the tears with smiles.. We're going to make it - again, and we're going to be just fine.

'I am torn between mourning the baby you were yesterday and rejoicing in the amazing little person I see before me...' I read this under a photo of another mom on Instagram the other day.. A truth for me about both boys.. marvelling in their milestones and how quickly the grow up and yet, I'm also sad over how quickly this times seem to pass.. but we are loving every moment and savouring all the memories..

Sunday, August 12, 2012

What we've been up to....

'A wee bit of heaven drifted down from above - A handful of happiness, a heart full of love. The mystery of life, so sacred and sweet - the giver of joy so deep and complete. Precious and priceless, so loveable too - the world's sweetest miracle, baby, that's you.'

I look at you, my boys and savor every moment of these last few days I'm with you before going back to work... the way you laugh at me in the mornings when we play silly games getting dressed.. the way you look at me sometimes as if you're looking into my soul... the way you enjoy being chased through the house little Jaydon.. or how you, Ethan, laughs when I kiss you till my lips hurts... I know we'll still have these moments once I'm back at work but now I know I can have them any time of the day, then I'll have to wait till I'm with you...

Time really flies even faster when you want it to slow down and this is exactly how it's been these last weeks.... I cannot believe it's been more than three weeks since my last post and less than a few days before I go back to the reality of working...

So here is some photos to catch up on all we've been up to these last few weeks..

We had a lovely weekend away at the Pilansberg.. We stayed at Kwa Maritane and it was really nice.. Good service, excellent food.. Even just the two days felt like a week, and I hope we can fit some of these type of weekends in more often! We did have 'fun and games' driving there.. Ethan decided that week he does not enjoy the car chair anymore, and for the full 2 hours of our trip he cried.. We stopped a few times and he would calm down when we take him out and as soon as we put him back it starts again... This inevitably resulted in Jaydon not taking his afternoon nap... And well that led to really interesting times later that night when we had one very over-tired toddler in a strange room (AND mom forgot Padda at home - I will nEvEr forgot Padda again!).. At about 22:30 he eventually went to sleep (and may I add, Ethan slept through all this screaming!).. But it wasn't all good to go after this as Jaydon woke again at around 1:00 and another round of crying/screaming as only Jaydon can.. so we ended up watching all his swimming videos on my phone and he eventually fell asleep again... (Oh and Ethan slept through this round as well.....) I've never believed people when they say they can put their kids to sleep, go out, pack the kids in the car, have a good dinner and go home, unload the kids and they stay asleep through all this... Well our little Ethan is just that.. And it's bliss!

At least we remembered the bike!
On the trampoline with dad.. He loved it!
Way too friendly after that night of screaming..
Yes mom needed two coffees
Ethan taking his morning nap
'Rock climbing'

On the trampoline again..
My cutie pie
On the horse in the play area..
On the see-saw with dad..
Mom and Ethan on the other side..
On the swing with dad..

Ethan sleeping in the restaurant..
'Make like a gorilla!'
Mr Friendly
On the way back from our weekend we stopped at Gavin's place for a cup of tea and Jaydon had a really good time outside on the slide. He suddenly gained the confidence to slide down on his own and also climb back up with virtually no help...! Once again it feels like I can see my boy growing up in front of my eyes.. It's scary and exciting all at once..

Ethan enjoying the feel of the grass 
Gorgeous eyes
Playing with his toes..

Ethan has discovered his toes.. He grabs them the moment I take off his shoes and absolutely love playing with his feet when I undress him for bath time.. 

It's funny I cannot remember Jaydon ever being so interested in his toes, but then again he was a fair bit chubbier at this age. I looked through some pictures of him and came across this one... He was the cutest chubby baby boy..!

I took Jaydon to his new school last week and he spent a few hours there.. I wanted him to at least meet his teacher and get a feel for the place before we leave him there for a full day. First day I just went and chatted with the teacher and he was quite OK. Next day I left him with her for a bit and he really cried when I handed him over.. I hate it. The handing over of my boy when neither him or me wants to do it. But it's going to have to happen so I had to just say good bye and leave.. I didn't leave completely though. I sat in the office and watched him through the glass. My brave little boy stopped crying quite quick and sat with the teacher when she read a story. He wasn't completely at ease (neither was I) but when we they went outside for the snack and 'free play' he seemed OK too. I went to watch him there a bit as well and he was so relieved to see me. It's this relief I see on his face that breaks my heart even more.. I know he's just showing me he really was just waiting for me to come back, as if to tell me 'Mom I was looking for you and really wanted you here..'... I know he will settle and both of us will adjust to the new way of things again. It's just this initial getting use to it, that really gets to me..  I did manage to take a photo of him while playing outside that 2nd day and you can see he was relaxed once I was there.. 

And yes I know he will wait for me to get him every day, but I also know he will get use to the new school and friends and he will settle and adjust and enjoy being there.. He will learn lots of new things and I'm soo looking forward to hearing and seeing all of it. I guess it's just because it is new and it's different and my 'mommy heart' just really wish I could keep them with me forever. But I know they need to learn and experience things and become independent.. and I know in the end it will be all good.. But this mommy will hug and kiss and hold them tight for a very long time, cause really it's my 'heart' we're talking about here.... 

On 28 July we celebrated our 5 year wedding anniversary. I was telling someone this the other day and couldn't believe it myself for a moment. So much has happened in these 5 years and we have so much to be thankful. It's been an amazing time, and waking up the morning of our anniversary I was lying in bed and thought to myself that even though our life seem chaotic at times (2 babies under 21 months can you make feel like that some days) I knew there was no where else I'd rather be. I love every moment of this chaos and I'm so grateful for Michael who is a really wonderful husband and even more, a really amazing father.. The boys both adore him and that warms my heart more than anything.. Two of my favourite photos of our special day 5 years ago...

As part of our anniversary celebration this year I decided to book a photo shoot of the now 'four of us'.. Perfect time to take some family photos and have some memories of where we are right now.. The shoot took place at a really old house, and even though I was skeptical on our arrival there, tho photos really came out just beautiful and I love it! Definitely framing some for our wall.. Here are some of the unedited versions, I'm still to give her the final ones for editing....

Where we had the shoot (photo was taken afterwards)

After this shoot I decided we should definitely do a shoot at least once or twice a year (more if possible!).. the boys grow up so fast and if I just look at how much both has changed and grown in these last few months I know it is a must.. SO watch this space..! 

So Jaydon's love for motorbikes gets more and more confirmed every time we out on the road... He points them out religiously and now also makes the accompanying sounds.. When we go past one on our walks he actually makes me stop so he can go touch the wheels, and 'body' of the bike.. So you can imagine he's surprise and delight when uncle Lew surprised him with biking magazines.. He couldn't stop pointing and showing us bikes.. He really loved paging through them! Thank you so much uncle Lew for spoiling him so much!

Ethan also had a great visit..

Some other moments of things we've been up to....

We had lunch with auntie Jo at Pappachinos down New road.. Jaydon absolutely loved the slides and bike track.. Ethan enjoyed his first real taste of slap chips and loved it...! We had so many nice times with you aunt Jo, it was really special sharing all these with you. Thanks for all your visits.!  We're looking forward to many more..

We visited Jaydon's friend, Alexander at the horse riding stables and both boys enjoyed it lots. Ethan were on the horse for the first time and when Jaydon saw this he also wanted to be on, which is normally a big struggle, and we did a few rounds as he then realised this is actually great fun..!

Oh cool! What's this?
This is fun mom!

We had lunch with Hestelle and her two gorgeous girls Melissa and Mieke at C'est la vie.. Another mommy starting to work again same day as me.. Jaydon and Melissa are now really enjoying playing together.. 
Jaydon and Melissa

It still amazes me every time I see how all the kids get bigger and become real little people, mine and all their friends.. It's really a wonderful time in all of our lives, this growing up, discovering, learning new things and skills and being a part of this is very exciting and special all at the same time.... I know I'll probably think this of every stage we go through.. It's funny someone asked me what staged I've enjoyed most so far, but every time we enter a new 'stage' I think.. 'Now this is really nice'.. and then the next one happens and I think the same.. I guess I'm just enjoying all of it, and yes all of them have their ups and downs but overall it's really just wonderful.

Many special memories were made these months at home.. But it's the start of a new chapter for us and even though things will be different we are going to make so many more memories.. Sharing the blog and taking photos will become extra special for me.. I'm looking forward to what lies ahead...