The small things....

As I'm writing this Ethan is fast asleep in our room and our spirited, strong-willed first born is screaming in the room next door... The last few nights have been battles of note at bed time and we are really at our wits end.. Leaving him to scream doesn't work either cause he is really proving his will is quite strong compared to our threshold of listening.. It goes on for up to an hour and a half.... But I'm holding on.. 'Cause alas 'this too shall pass'...

The real reason for this post is to write down some things we must remember.. The small things the boys are doing which I don't want to forget.. So I've made a list and here goes...

Jaydon's list..

- He gives us this wry smile while actually trying really hard not to smile, when you give him something he wasn't planning on getting or when he is cross and you try make him smile and he actually thinks you are funny but doesn't want us to see he thinks so...

- How he can eat a whole avocado and think its the best meal ever..

- Hiding behind the couches when we call him to do something or when trying to leave the house.. It becomes the biggest game to get him from there and he squeals with delight when you 'find' him..

- How he randomly walks up to Ethan and kisses his hand..

- How he can watch the garden boy for the longest time, explaining in great detail to me what he sees.. 'Ti-aahh-aa-aahh-a-a, Ti-uuhh-u-aah-uu-uh'...

- How he just walk up to me and take my hand to show me something he wants to do.. Which can be anything from going for a walk, to playing Mickey mouse on the iPad or his latest favorite, getting the vacuum cleaner and 'vacuum' for me...

- Pure excitement at chasing Tigger and how Tigger actually just loves it and keeps coming back for more...

- The pure excitement he shows at the randomest things, just tripling on the spot and laughing out loud..

- How he kisses me goodnight with a big 'mmmwwwaaahhhhh'...

(By the way he's finally gone to sleep.....)

And Ethan...

- The way he gets visibly excited at the sound of my voice or when he sees me (yes it's just lovely knowing I'm the most important person is his life -for now...)

- His thorough enjoyment of his night time massage before I bath him..

- The way he watches Jaydon intently, almost studying and taking in everything Jaydon does so that he can do the same some time soon.. He even studies him in the car while we driving, and Jaydon leans over to hold onto his car seat for the longest time...

- How he now takes the toys Jaydon hand him.. even took some play-dough Jaydon gave him, and oh was Jaydon happy about that..!

- How he sighs in his sleep.. He's done this since he was a newborn and I actually listen out for it cause I know he then sleeps really nicely..

- The way he absolutely loves his bath time.. He has an internal clock for 18:45 and really starts moaning big time, but as soon as we walk upstairs and get ready to bath he becomes all smiles and kicks his legs wildly with excitement...! And he just loves being naked, with each layer of clothes I remove he laughs more..

- The way he snuggles up to me early in the mornings while lying in bed after Michael has left for work... Aaaahh the joys of being able to lie in on cold winter mornings..

- The way he rubs his eyes to wake up or when he is very tired.. It's amazed me every time he was doing it since he was ony a few weeks old..

- How since he was only a few days he just wants to stand up on his legs instead of sitting when you hold him up..

There's so many things I just love about my boys and these are just naming a few.. Seeing them grow and develop is really a privilege and a real blessing..

I'm also adding some photos of the last few days..

I put Ethan in the cot with Jaydon when he wakes up in the morning..

Ethan was way more interested in the cot mobile than greeting his brother...

Jaydon's has really become attached to his 'Padda'.. it goes along everywhere, at bath time tonight I had to stop him from taking him with in the bath!

Jaydon has found a new adoration for his 'padda'...

'Padda' goes with everywhere...

Being silly at the breakfast table..!

Jaydon has this fascination with the washing machine... can sit and watch it endlessly.. and needless to say many toys and things lying around gets found in the washing machine...! (His new storage place..). He's still a bit scared to get too close while its washing though...

Watching from a 'safe' distance..

Mickey mouse clubhouse.. (and Mickey also part of the fun)

Rolling on the floor with 'Padda'

Even aunty Jo and Tigger joined in the fun!

Couldn't resist when he saw this scooter in the park.

Playing while waiting in the ENT waiting rooms yesterday..

Had some fun getting dressed this morning.. the two boys did some bonding on mommy and daddy's bed...

Jaydon: 'This is my thumb'.. Ethan: 'That's so cool!'

A little pat on the head..

'Oh look, he has a belly button!'

'Mmmmwwwaaaaahhh!'

And one for the other hand...!

Love being naked.!

Delicious toes..

Some more perfection...

Holding on to Ethan's car seat cover when we drive..

Went to visit Aunty Nadine and Alexander at the horse stables this morning.. He really has fun playing with his little friend..

Found a new 'toy'.. 

With Alexander in the wheelbarrow..

Jaydon and Alexander.. together but each on their own mission...

The three of us.. our shadows.. Me, Jaydon and Ethan

I try to take the boys for a walk every afternoon when it's not too cold.. Often when we go Jaydon goes on his black bike and I have Ethan in the sling.. Today we went in the pram and 'Padda' had to join us..!

Holding on tightly to his 'Padda'!

Eating my hands out on our walk....

Another new favorite..! The vacuum cleaner..!

Looking forward to the weekend ahead..! Good night.. xx

Ethan-ness....

I'm sitting with Ethan on my lap and just savoring the way he curves his body snug against mine... I just love the baby stage.. The way he turns his head when he hears my voice, or automatically turns towards me when I hold him cause he knows where he gets his food. How he plays with my fingers while I feed him or how he can just let go while drinking to stare in my eyes for a moment before continuing.. I just love that for him I am the best thing right now... And I'm enjoying this as it is the last reminder of the way he grew in me for 9 months and it's precious memories I'm holding in my heart..

I don't think I've left him for more than an hour ever since he was born and know I need to start doing that.. Preparing him and me for when I go back to work.. A thought I'm pushing to the back of mind whenever it pops up, cause I'm really dreading it.. But I know it's going to happen and well maybe tomorrow or the next day I'll be able to leave him a little longer... But for now I'm just drinking in his closeness his 'already-growing-up-too-fast' little body as he is lying against me... And I'm saving the memory for the days I'm really going to miss him....

So here is a few Ethan-cuteness photos.... I just love everything about him...

Just love his adorable smile.. And off course those eyes!

My little angel..

Perfection...

One day the girls will drool over those lashes..!

Just playing with my hand..

'Cause I'm so cute and all....

Baby-licsious legs!

Chilling with Tigger...

Cannot resist taking a photo every time he is in his bear suit...

Even when he is crying he is just gorgeous.....

The little things are most worthwhile - a quiet word, a look, a smile. Margaret Lindsey

Being a mother..

'The moment a child is born, the mother is also born. She never existed before. The woman existed, but the mother, never. A mother is something absolutely new.' Rajneesh

I think what they don't tell you, not only is a mother born the day her child is born, but that with every passing day you grow more as a mother.. Every milestone, every high, every low, every one of them shape you into the mother you ultimately are.. It's really an experience you cannot explain.. It's magical and tiring and wonderful and makes you want to just cry some days.. Being a mother though is one of life's greatest treasures...

Motherhood isn't a chain of wondrous little moments strung together in one perfectly orchestrated slide show. It's dirty and scary and beautiful and hard and miraculous and exhausting and thankless and joyful and frustrating all at once. It's everything. Confessions of a scary mommy.

But it's all of this that makes being a mother so real.. It's probably the most amazing experience, but also the hardest. I'd like to think the second time round I'm a lot less stressed and worried, which makes me enjoy this small baby time a lot more. And ultimately I think I'm now also less stressed about everything regarding Jaydon which probably makes it easier for us and for the kids.. After Ethan was born and I realized how much easier it is the second time. I joked one day and said that Jaydon needed a prize for 'surviving his mom' and not the other way round.. It's true what they say the first child really is the one that gets it hardest.. Everything needs to be perfect and nothing actually is.. It's hard then for everyone around.. With Jaydon I use to worry so much about what the books said, untill I eventually realized none of the books was written for Jaydon, and trust me he was definitely not born with a manual either.. But even though it was hard, looking back it's those tough times which made me the mother I am today. And I'm loving every moment!

Now I'm not worried about holding/rocking my babies too much, I'm not worried that they'll never develop a sleep pattern or that they feeding too often or not eating enough vegetables.. Somehow these things just sort itself out.. Jaydon now doesn't want to be held and rocked to sleep anymore and now I miss it so much.. Guess that's why God gave me Ethan who still just loves to be held and I'm rocking him to sleep whenever I can, and I'm holding on to every moment of snuggling with him and cuddling because too soon he'll be where Jaydon is and won't want me to do that anymore.

These times are precious, or no.. It's beyond precious, it's really just wonderful and I'm loving it. And some days when it's hard and I really feel like I'm not even close to being a good mom, I just hold my babies a little tighter and don't worry about the tears that spill because every tear is worth it and every moment, easy or hard, is what being a mother is all about..

Eventually your heart tells you the best way to raise your children. Steve Biddulph

Of this and that...

Another week has come and gone.. And it feels to me Jaydon is getting bigger every day.. Really, I'm sure in the last week he has grown a few centimeters.! He's been waking up a lot for something to drink, so we've decided he must be hungry cause he's growing..? and besides I had to buy him bigger longsleeved t-shirts, as the ones I bought at the beginning of the winter is suddenly too tight! And besides the growing he's also cutting his two eye-teeth.. so a lot happening in our big boy's life right now.. 

Ethan also doing really good, he is enjoying the solids we've started and also started rolling over this morning! I'd put him down on his stomach and the next moment he was on his back with this huge grin on his face as if to say.. 'Look what I can do mom!'

I'm posting some photos again of all that's happened the last week or so! Hope you'll enjoy looking at them as much as I do taking them! 

Reading with grandma and grandpa..

Do you see that grandpa? 

After all that reading, chilling with grandpa was the next best thing..!

Booties for Ethan.. dressed for the cold!

Jaydon packed his toys all around and onto Ethan so he could play too..

Jaydon discovered the joys of play dough..! 

Jaydon started swimming lessons a few weeks ago and wasn't too keen at the first lesson.. Apparently most of them like that the first few times.. The following week we went for swimming lessons and mommy forgot the swimming stuff at home... Then this week, I packed the bags in the car before I woke the kids to go for swimming and realized as we got there, there is no swimming due to the school holidays! So mommy really not doing too well at the moment, but hopefully in the new term we'll all be 'ready' for this swimming thing! (Memory loss is definitely not for old-age only!)

As you can see.... really not impressed!

Bed time reading...

Painting fun..

This was still part of dad's fathers day card we made...

We discovered a play park in Centurion, C'est la vie.. Jaydon absolutely loves it there.. some pics of him playing on the slides etc..

Ethan also thought it was great fun when we went there with aunty Jo last week!

This was taken at the 'Purple cow'.. Jaydon found this scooter and walked with it everywhere!

At the park behind our house with Aunty Jo..

On the slide.. And look I've got Mickey mouse with me!

Notice the Mickey mouse again..

Oh and wait! There is Mickey mouse!

We have an app on the iPad for Jaydon called the Mickey mouse clubhouse. It's very much an interactive type thing and Jaydon just loves playing this and Mickey mouse is now his favorite..! I bought him a small one (in the picture below) and he takes him everywhere with him! (Playing, eating, sleeping, bathing......)

The famous Mickey mouse!

Everyone is enjoying the Mickey mouse clubhouse.. 

I did a baby massage course for Jaydon when he was around 3 months and now again a refresher for Ethan. Both boys absolutely loved it.. Couldn't resist this pic of Ethan.. I massage him every night before bath..

A really cute bum!

Another really cute bum! This is probably the only time ever when dimples are so adorable!

As per the previous post, Ethan is really enjoying his solids... (ok.. maybe not everything just yet..)

This cereal is finger-licking good mom!

Ok, wait.. Avo?? I'm not so sure about this..!

Ethan.. always smiling.. 

At grandma Hilde's house yesterday.. warming up in the sun outside... (Always so serious...)

A Mother is someone who dreams for you, but then lets you chase the dreams you have for yourself and loves you just the same.