All the beautiful rhythms in our lives..

It's been more than six months since my last post.. I stumbled upon #fiveminutefriday on the blog of Lisa-Jo Baker (lisajobaker.com) and became inspired to start writing again..
Little did I realise my first post in so many months would be what I wrote tonight, but being able to write about and share a little of where I am right now bring in itself a sense of comfort...

So here goes...


"Tonight I'm sitting in the rocking chair holding you much longer than normal, I'm listening to the rhythm of your breathing, I'm savoring your angel-like peacefulness while you're sleeping in my arms, but most of all I'm thanking God for the absolutely amazing blessing you are in my life.
Today has been one of the hardest days in my life, another being the day your sister was stillborn.. Today we lost and said goodbye to your baby brother/sister, as this eagerly anticipated fourth baby left us to be with your sister in heaven..

My dear boys, if it wasn't for the two of you that your dad and I could come home to, being pulled back into the familiar rhythm of toddler routine, hearing the beauty of your squeals of laughter, and embracing the rhythm of friendship of friends and family who comforted us, and came to help and others to just carry us.. I'm not sure I would've made it..

I was (the past tense just sound and feel so wrong) 12 weeks pregnant and for reasons and questions we do not know answers to or understand our second little baby is singing in the beautiful heavenly choirs tonight.. Sounds which has beauty and rhythm to it that we who are left behind have no understanding of, but of which only the thought of - gives me peace.. And I know today this little baby was also made perfect when God breathed His heavenly breathe into it's tiny body..

So tonight, while savoring the familiar rhythm of your breathing under my broken heart I'm at the same time singing through tears to the rhythm of heavenly songs for our two perfect angels in heaven....."

Stop...

It's not a perfect post and after so many months of 'just living life and being busy with all the daily rhythms of every day life' and just not finding the time to write, I realise again just how much I need to do this..

I also want to add to this post something I read after our little girl was stillborn and gave me so much comfort...

Extract from 'A Divine Revelation of Heaven' ~ Mary K Baxter

An angel of the Lord said to me, "From the time of conception, a baby is an eternal soul. If a baby is aborted or miscarried or somehow dies, God knows about it. He has given His angels charge over them.
"We bring their little souls to heaven, and God completes them. It doesn't matter if a baby has been aborted or dies naturally. It is fashioned and formed into perfection by the mighty hand of God.
"If the parents of these children will live righteously in Christ Jesus, when they come to heaven, they will be reunited and will know their precious loved ones. They will meet at the gates of glory!"

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